Matthew 18:15-35 • Biblical Conflict

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(This transcript was prepared using software tools and has not been reviewed for complete accuracy.)

 Now, here's reality, folks, just think of this. The weather is finally broken a little bit. You're able to go back to church and the pastor's sermon is on biblical conflict. Doesn't that make you feel good?



 We are going to look at that in Matthew, chapter 18, Matthew chapter 18, and consider verses 15 to 35. Why?



 Well, I think of this passage a lot like I think of a fire extinguisher.



 I hope you never have to use one, but if you do, I hope it's a good one.



 This passage is one I hope you never have to use, but reality says you may, and so Jesus gave us a good one. Let's stand as we honor God's Word and see what Jesus' instruction is.



 When our words fail us and our actions start to throw some sparks, how do we use the Word of God to be the people He desires?



 Jesus says, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.



 If he listens to you, you have gained your brother, but if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.



 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.



 And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.



 Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven, for where two or three are gathered in my name,



 there am I among them."



 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him?



 As many as seven times?"



 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times."



 Now what follows is the parable of the unmerciful servant, where a servant is given great mercy by the forgiveness of a debt from his master.



 But when that servant is approached by another who has a much smaller debt, that servant refuses to forgive the smaller debt. The conclusion is verse 33, as the master addresses that servant, "And should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you."



 Let's pray together.



 Only Father have mercy on us and enable us by perceiving how great and good it is to have mercy toward others, even those who have hurt us or damaged us in some way, who owe us a debt.



 But for Christ's sake, help us to learn what forgiveness means and reconciliation and unity for our heart's sake, for the heart of others, and for the witness to a lost world that you call us to proclaim.



 Help us, we pray, in Jesus' name, amen.



 Please be seated.



 My family's moving experiences have been framed by tornadoes.



 When we first moved to St. Louis, the evening that we arrived, there had been a series of tornadoes that had come across the St. Louis area so much that there were so many people seeking a place to stay that night that the hotel had given away our rooms, and we had no place to stay that night.



 When I took my first church after seminary, that church was one that the people vividly remembered the cyclone of 1948 before Kathy and I were even born. But a lot of the furniture that is in our house right now is from her family's home that got caught in that cyclone, and the furniture broken and blown into the woods was collected in pieces and reassembled, and we have some of the chairs still from that experience.



 Then I came here.



 Shortly before we had actually moved, I was doing some ministry out in Washington State. And one night as I was getting ready for bed, I watched as a storm was bringing a tornado to the neighborhood where my children live in St. Louis.



 And so from Washington State, I called my children on my phone and said, "Get to the basement!" And they said, "Dad, we're already there."



 And shortly after I arrived here, the Washington tornado taught us all that unexpected things can happen on a Sunday morning.



 Not just the tornadoes of physical conditions, but tornadoes of the Spirit can also affect us, and we need to know that. And the reason is because when tornadoes come, as much as my experience has been shaped by them, I recognize that when it's the middle of the night and the sirens go off, my great temptation is just to turn over and go back to sleep.



 But knowing the damage that can come, I know something better is to be done.



 I recognize that when the tornadoes of the Spirit come to the church of God, we sometimes can say, "I just don't want to have to deal with that." And our temptation when conflict comes to the people of God is just to look the other way and not be concerned.



 But reality teaches us that conflict among God's people and in God's church can do great damage to us and to our witness. And for that reason, Jesus gives us solid instruction that we hope we will never need,



 but reality says we will.



 Because most churches like this one happen to be full of sinners, like me and like you. And sometimes we need some instruction. How do we handle things when things get tense between us? Because the reality is most church wars happen when good people just don't know what to do.



 Jesus doesn't leave us there. He tells us what happens when there is tension between us. How do you have a process that handles biblical conflict? Jesus tells us, making us mindful from the beginning, that our goal in this process is not retaliation, getting back at someone, not vindication, getting our due, but reconciliation,



 showing Christ in healed relationships. How does that process begin? Well, step one, one on one. Verse 15, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.



 If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." First step, I don't circulate. I don't inflate. I don't inflame. What's the first step? One on one, go talk to that person.



 Do you understand what happened? Do you have a clear picture? Do they have a clear picture? Can you settle it at the lowest level possible? Can you just go talk to that person? Recognizing that person according to Scripture is a brother means the goal is to establish a renewed relationship, and because it's a family relationship, it may take a little time, a little patience, a little work, as families often do. This isn't mechanical. It isn't something automatic. It's something to be done with care of heart about. But what if it doesn't work?



 Step two, go twos, go intos.



 Verse 16, "But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses."



 We don't often like this. If I have to take somebody else with me, it gets messier. It gets bigger. I would rather just talk to my Sunday school class or my friends or my neighbors or my family or the choir.



 No one or two others, because it's the ancient Jewish standard of fairness, that everything would be established with at least one or two other credible witnesses. And we're sometimes challenged by that, not just by having to grab witnesses, but by recognizing they not just question the person we think has got a fault, they may question our perspective too.



 My wife's family is a great advocate of jigsaw puzzles. All her family has done that. They love it. If you go to our house right now, you will see in our family room a table with jigsaw puzzle pieces on it. She is great at jigsaw puzzles. And I will tell you, even this week when there was one of those puzzles where basically all pieces are the same color and look almost the same, I mean she's that good, but even Kathy will get stumped sometimes and I watch her go around to the other side of the table and look at it from a different direction to get another perspective knowing that may be where the answer is. And sometimes the reason we don't want other people in the conversation is we don't want to be confused with the facts or other perspectives that may challenge our own perspective. But that is what Jesus says. Listen, go one, lowest level. And next, not to other people, don't spread out. Take some people to confirm what you're thinking, what you're saying, what you feel happened.



 Go in twos. What if that doesn't work? Step three, verse 17, "If he, the one at fault, refuses to listen to them, the witness is in you, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile, an attacks collector." So final step, when it doesn't help to keep things at a low level, you take it to the church. Now again, this is not meaning just talk to all your friends in the church. Just talk to the people who agree. You just go tell your son. You go, "No."



 Speak to those who represent the authority of the church.



 One of the vows that Paul just took called for us to respond to say, "Will we not only honor but be willing to be in submission to the elders of the church?" You may not know it, but there's an actual oversight committee of the eldership of this church. So sometimes when people get at odds with one another or with the church, we have somebody to listen and talk and advise and work through things with. And even, I will tell you, as of this very day, the elders were active trying to help people deal with issues sometimes between each other. And it's a good and it's a caring thing to do because the goal is to help people find the unity that is expressing the reconciliation that God has brought to us from Jesus to the Father and that being expressed in the way that we deal with one another. And sometimes we ask for the elders of the church to help us. Now it can get really messy, not any reason not to mention that to you. I mean, while we can talk about people being angry with each other and fighting for each other, some of the ills that we have had to deal with, every church at times in the society has to deal with, are things that are serious, moral, or legal wrongdoing that Christians either have done to one another or suspect has been done to them. And sometimes we have to deal with matters that are quite difficult. And you might say, "Well, aren't those matters matters for the courts, the secular courts?" And the answer is, surely, that that may be needed. But you may remember in 1 Corinthians 6, the Apostle Paul challenges Christians. Why would you go to the court that scorns the church when there is opportunity to deal with matters in the church? And some more and more in our day and age, responsible Christians, seek sometimes Christian arbitration, those who are skilled at helping us work through things. Work with the church just to say, "Can the elders or the pastors help me in a serious conversation with someone that I feel has been responsible for something difficult?" On an odd occasion, we may find matters that really do require the church to take a stand and say something someone has done is wrong and actually bring charges against them that if they don't acknowledge what they have done is so wrong, cheating another family, abusing a child, immoral sin of some sort, we may actually say, "You must recognize you're in great spiritual danger and advise you not to take the sacraments to say, "Listen, you need to recognize that your fellowship in the church is not just something that's in jeopardy here, but your fellowship in heaven, if that's the way you're going to continue to act, what assignment, assurance can we give you that you're a child of God if you're going to keep doing that?" Now let me tell you something. No one likes talking about this until it is your reputation that has been smeared or your child that has been abused or your family that has been cheated or your marriage that has been shattered or your church has been scandalized by the immorality of leaders who say they represent you and represent the church and are yet doing awful things that everybody in the community knows about.



 Then we recognize and we call out, "Isn't somebody going to do something? There's something to do." And Jesus is saying, "To protect His church, He has given us a process." Just a couple of observations.



 We can't say it would never happen here.



 We know it has and does.



 And God has protected His church by giving us a process to follow. And most often when the church goes to war irreparably, it's just because we don't know what to do or don't remember what the Bible says. When the Bible has given us instruction not to hurt anybody, but to help us all. Now it won't help us at all as we begin to think about this process of biblical reconciliation in the middle of biblical conflict if we don't remember the purposes that we are pursuing. We're beginning to be mechanical or automatic or even aggressive about the steps that God is putting before us. We have to remember what are the purposes we're doing this? I mean, why would we bother to do this? Only one reason is rescue, that we're willing to do things uncomfortable for us for the sake of rescuing people. Almost always I find that when people well know Matthew 18, the steps of handling biblical conflict, they hardly ever cite the context. I want you to remember that at the end of verse 15, we were invited to endure this process in order to gain a brother.



 Why is that the description?



 Because of the verses that just preceded.



 Do you remember the verses that just preceded in this Matthew 18 from Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount? It's a parable, the parable of the lost sheep. Jesus is saying, "If a shepherd has a hundred sheep and ninety-nine are safe in the fold, what does he do?"



 He goes after the one lost sheep. Verse 12, "What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?" Verse 14, "So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish. Therefore, if you have a brother who is sent against you, go and reclaim him." Why? Because then you have gained your brother. It's such a different perspective. We think that these standards of biblical reconciliation are primarily to protect and vindicate us.



 But the primary object is the salvation of the one who's done wrong, or the saving, or the rescue of the one who is done. I'm concerned for that one. The fault against me is the evidence of the spiritual jeopardy against that one. And so I take steps not primarily to get my due, but actually for the sake of the rescue of that one.



 If rescue is not the only motivation, what are other motivations that are supposed to be driving us in this process? Clearly, reconciliation.



 Verses 15 through 18 keep saying, "If this works, then stop. But if it needs to keep going, keep going." Why? "Until you reclaim the unity that God intends, gain the relationship that God intends." Now, not everybody wants to hear that. Even Peter. After hearing these steps of reconciliation, what's Peter's first question?



 Well, how many times do I got to forgive him?



 Seven times?



 You know, that's the Jewish standard of three times doubled plus one.



 As though Peter is saying, "If I'm really, really good, do I have to keep forgiving him?"



 Jesus said, "Not seven times, but what?"



 Seventy-seven times. Some of your translations say 70 times seven times. Why? Because the goal is not getting our due. The goal is our reconciliation with those that need to know what it means for God to have reconciled people who need forgiveness, 70 times seven, even knowing it through us.



 That means that the goal is not simply rescue and reconciliation. Ultimately, the goal of our biblical process is mission.



 That I am concerned that others know that individual and others witnessing the unity or disunity of the church would know the gospel from the way that we respond.



 Now that means, among other things, if I'm trying to make the gospel known by the witness of the church, that when the church has separated from the standards of God, that there is damage to the testimony of the church's mission. Now, this is not news to any of us, right? We would recognize that the Apostle Paul in his own time would talk about the church of Corinth and would actually write to them and say, "It is actually evident that among you there is sin so great as even the pagans do not approve. A man is living with his father's wife. It's an incestuous relationship, and you approve of it. You just go to sleep and turn over and act like nothing's happening." And Paul the Apostle is saying, "That damages the church." Now, we don't just have to look at biblical times, right? Look at our own times. How often do we see where church leaders damage the ministry of the church by their testimony? We can do the famous ones, you know, the Jimmy Swaggart or the Jim Baker or the pedophilia epidemic among Roman Catholic priests or to play fair.



 Now how the Me Too movement is speaking of more and more Protestant pastors who are getting caught in that net of improper behavior as well.



 And you know what happens to the testimony of the church when even its leaders aren't corrected in any way that nobody tries to do anything. Nobody says, "This is damaging to our testimony." I mean, I could say it from my experience, and I'm guessing many of you could say the same things. If I just kind of think about my own friends, leaders in the church, and talk about immorality



 and embezzlement and addictions and just authoritarian behavior that has damaged churches. I mean, I could put a name with every one of those sins I just talked about. And if the church has no way of addressing such things, you recognize the church itself is damaged. And it's damaged in its witness, but it's not just because they're being separated from the standards of God.



 All this make, excuse me, Jesus here is making it clear that the separation that we have from one another can have eternal consequences. That's why we work so hard at unity. Verse 18 is really hard for us in today's culture, where Jesus says, "Truly I say to you," why do you go through this process of reconciliation? "Because truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Now I don't think this is a statement of the infallible authority of the church. You know, that whatever we decide is right and wrong is just infallibly decided on earth for whatever God does in heaven. I don't think it says that. I think it's just a common sense picture that the gathered saints are a picture of the glorified saints.



 And the way that we gather across differences, healing relationships, keeping people close even when it seems undeserved is a picture. What we enable one another to do to live together in harmony and peace and witness here is securing people for heaven itself.



 And God is making it clear that we, and uniting here, are doing things that have eternal consequence. And so we work past our differences to grab people, to pull them in, to keep bound together, knowing that what we can bind together here is going to reflect ultimately a heavenly reality. I'm not saying it's a good example, but what comes to mind for me is the example of those sailors at the end of World War II who were on the torpedoed USS Indianapolis. Remember the story? The ship goes down, hundreds are thrown into the sea, and then the sharks come.



 And their only safety was to bind one another closely together because if anyone would drift off, if anyone got on their own, the sharks would get them.



 And so what they would do in the water is they would bind one another as tightly and closely as they could, knowing that what they could bind together in the water would ultimately be those who were saved for the land.



 And I recognize, and you do, that those who are holding each other so closely, bind each other together for their mutual good were probably some people who had argued with each other in the galley the day before.



 They were probably some people where an officer had been unkind to an enlisted man. There may have been people who had had fist fights, there may have been people who had ... but when they recognized how great was the danger, they held each other as close, they bound each other together. And we who recognize those sharks are the spiritual forces of Satan and this world who are after God's people and our children and generations to come, then we bind each other together knowing that what we bind together on earth has eternal consequences.



 It has eternal power as well.



 Verse 19, "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them. Now for most of you, where two or three are gathered in my name, there's now a Paul-Stuke marriage song going through your head.



 But that's really not what this is about.



 This is saying where people gather together, hold each other, where two or three are gathered in Christ's name, that His Spirit is active among them. The picture that would come to a Jewish mind is the Shekinah glory of the temple of God, that where God's temple exists, God exists in the midst accomplishing His powerful purposes. And the reason for our unity, to work past our differences, to help one another, to forgive one another, is that we recognize in this unity is the spiritual power of God to pray for lost people, to reach for our brothers and sisters in Christ, and to unite them in the power of God. Because as we pray, the Spirit's working in them, the Spirit's working in us, and greater things than we can imagine or plan are being worked as we would gather together in Christ's name. We recognize that this unity for which we're striving for as we handle conflict biblically



 is for rescue and reconciliation and the mission of the church and ultimately for our own discipleship.



 I recognize verse 17 is intimidating.



 If He refuses to listen to the church, listen to...excuse me, if He refuses to listen to them, that is you and the witnesses, tell it to the church.



 This is not about tattling.



 This is about correction, that we would see spiritual danger and be so concerned for it that we would ourselves, as well as hoping our brothers and sisters in Christ would put themselves under the submission of the church. We just vowed to that when Paul was an elder being established here, that we would put ourselves in submission to the church, it doesn't mean that we submit to every crazy thing. It does mean that we are under the authority of those who are seeking to discern the will of God. And in submitting ourselves to that authority, even to the authority of the Word of God of what we do when we have conflict with one another, what happens?



 I'm forced to listen to other people.



 I'm forced to deal with other people in humility and compassion and care for them more than care for me.



 Discipleship is occurring. I am being changed. And the hope is that what is happening in the church is now beginning to spill over into marriages and into the workplace, the factory floor and the boardroom and the city council as well as the session and deaconate meetings, that we listening, hearing, humbling ourselves, desiring the good for other more than ourselves are developing accountability before God and before one another. And we don't always like that. I mean, the whole notion of accountability that somebody else can hold me accountable is not something that we like in an independent age.



 But the membership vows that we took are not just idle ceremony.



 You know, we were saying that we submit to the authority of the church and to the peace and purity of God's people.



 Why?



 Because we know that doesn't just change them, it's not just good for the church, it's changing us.



 The reality is for every disciple of Jesus Christ, no matter where you are in life, you're either moving toward accountability or you're moving away from accountability.



 And when you begin to recognize accountability is something that is a blessing of the people of God, have you thought about this? Are you growing as God intends? Do you know all the blessings yet? That is difficult as it may be. It's actually something that becomes a great blessing. I want you for a moment to just pity my children, okay? So here are my children. They are raised in a home where their dad is either a pastor or a Christian school administrator and their mom is a choir director, which means the church is always looking at my children. As they are growing up, they seem to always be in the church. And I don't know how many jokes and scorn and ridicule and pity came their way because they had to spend so much time in the church.



 But I will tell you, as they spent time there in the church and God's people cared for them, sometimes corrected them, well, sometimes poorly. But most of the people deeply care for them and their life gets entwined with those who lead by example and care and compassion and commitment to the Word of God. I look at my children now who, I confess there were times they didn't want to be in the church at all, I'll tell you that, who are now training their children in catechisms and Bible verses and praying together. And I just, I rejoice that the blessing they felt they received, they are now passing to their children, that the discipleship they received, they want their children to have. For all its ups and downs and difficulties, they recognized that discipleship was ultimately good for them and they praise God for it. Now I can try to make it all sound good, but you and I both recognize there are real problems with this whole notion of trying to handle biblical conflict in biblical ways.



 After all, if we're saying we should identify what people are doing is wrong and approach them one-on-one and then two-by-twos and then take it to the church, what about those verses about not judging other people?



 Okay, hard talk, straight talk. First church that I pastored out of seminary. I was only there about six weeks when I discerned that one of my church officers was living with a woman, not his wife.



 And when I said to some of the other officers and people in the church, "Hey, what gives here?" Here's a man calling himself, not just a Christian, he's an officer in the church and he's living with a woman, not his wife. What was the most common verse people quoted to me?



 Judge not that you be not judged.



 Is that really what the Bible is saying? Is the Bible really saying, "Just look the other way. Don't be concerned." I mean, after all, if you just look in our passage right here, verse 32, when Jesus is talking about somebody who's doing something very wrong, he puts his own assessment in the mouth of the master. He says, "You wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you plead with me and you would not forgive someone." You wicked servant. What a judgmental statement. Is it judgmental?



 It's true.



 It's identifying. Nowhere is the Bible saying, "Just don't ever think about sin or judge anybody else who's wrong." The Bible does not say that. You take the Apostle Paul, correct, rebuke, encourage with great patience and careful instruction. The judgmentalism that's just kind of reflects and hurts people and puts you in the driver's seat without considering how you yourself may be needing to be corrected, that's what's forbidden. But not making no judgments, you know, that's not what's being advocated. I think of Paul when he actually addresses the issue in Corinth of a man living with a woman who is his father's wife.



 Paul says, "It's actually reported among you, such as it's not even among the pagans a man living with his father's wife. And you approve.



 I have already judged him, and you should too."



 What business is it of mine to judge those outside of the church? Is it not those inside the church that you should judge?



 Oh, that's a little bit different perspective. If you're really going to deal with that question about never judging people, you ought to actually see where the verse originates. It's in the Sermon on the Mount. It's Jesus talking. If you've got your Bibles open, look at Matthew chapter 7, same book that we're in, same Jesus talking. What does he mean when he says, "Don't judge that you be not judged?" Matthew 7 verse 1, everybody knows this one, "Judge not that you be not judged." Does that really mean saying never evaluate sin in any way, or is it talking about something different?



 There's something different is verse 2, "For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Now just think about that. When we judge other people, well, what a silly, awful, immoral thing. What a terrible gossip. What an ignorant person. How dare they be so selfish?



 Every one of those judgments is being recorded on a little memory card right next to our heart.



 And when we stand before the great throne of judgment, there's going to be a USB port right there that we have to take the card out. Every judgment that we made is what's going to judge us.



 Now that's judgmentalism that I don't recognize the judgments, the measurements I make are ultimately going to be used for me, which means I should be approaching other people with humility. It does not mean that I should not be approaching them at all. Very same passage, verse 4, "How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite." Now here's the important part.



 First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.



 If there's true humility and concern for another so that you're saying, "I'm a sinner too, I know that, and my sin required the blood of Jesus Christ just as much as anyone else," only then are you ready to say, "My brother, I think there's a problem."



 But it is also your obligation to say, "My brother, for your sake, I need to talk to you about something." Always, the Bible is telling us to judge humbly and justly, but not to fail to judge at all. What if the problem is not your problem? If the person who sinned did not sin against you personally, you've got no dog in the fight, no skin off your nose, then what?



 No, the goal is still heaven and concern for others. So the Apostle Paul of all people in the book of Galatians talks about he had to confront Peter. Do you remember the problem? In Jerusalem, Peter, the great one who has received the mercy of God, who's been forgiven three times, who's understood the gospel is by faith in Jesus Christ, Peter is stopping associating with Gentiles at meals. He begins saying, "Well, they're unclean. I don't like their dietary habits. I'm just not going to associate with them anymore."



 And Paul says, "Peter, how can you do that?" He actually says what he does, Galatians chapter 2, "I had to oppose Peter to his face."



 Why? Verse 14, "I said to Peter in front of others." Why? Because the sin has gotten public. Peter's actually telling other people not to eat with the Gentiles.



 He says to Peter, "Since you have discarded Jewish laws, why are you trying to make Gentiles honor them since we know a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ?



 My concern for the heart and the heaven and the eternity of other people means that I will try to protect them even by challenging people in the church who are damaging the testimony of the gospel. And Paul even is willing to go to Peter to judge the sin that is so obviously against the gospel.



 Well, what if it doesn't work? And we go through all the steps, what if it doesn't work? Well, if it doesn't work, the first step is to take the next step, right? I mean, that's the recognition of Jesus. If one-on-one doesn't work, go in twos. If twos doesn't work, then take it. There's a process. So we do recognize we take next steps if needed and then perhaps to surprise you, we take no further steps than are needed.



 We take no further steps than are needed. For what purpose?



 For the purpose of the expansion of the gospel, rescue, reconciliation, and mission. This is not a math formula.



 This is people seeking before the God with wisdom and humility to do what is actually best for the gospel. These are the steps that we must follow if we enter a process of reconciliation. But candidly, folks, nothing is saying you have to enter the process if your heart is still going to stay good toward that person, that you have to enter the process or to conclude the process. We simply say, "It's not good for me to keep pressing right now. How do I know that?" Proverbs 19.11, "It is a man's honor to overlook a sin against him."



 First Peter, there's Peter again.



 "First Peter 4.8, "Above all, love one another deeply because love covers a multitude of sins."



 Or verse 33 of this very passage, "If you've received mercy, why aren't you showing it?"



 We do what is right for the other person, for the church, and the mission of the church. And that is a prudential call and a pastoral call. There is not a math you put on it. One of the things that you so fear in the church that people who are just aggressive about these standards, which are just as damaging as people who are passive about these standards,



 we want people who are leaders who care and are thoughtful. I think of it just in terms of what it means to be a wise parent. Now I just honestly, I can remember the seminarian who on Father's Day, he was single and he had no children, okay? And he was instructing all the fathers how to raise children. And he said, "So fathers, if you're going to be faithful to Scripture, you need to correct every sin that your children commit, which either is going to kill the child or kill the father."



 You make judgment calls. You make prudential assessments of what is best for growth and health, and so we must do. The choices that are not ours are anger, bitterness, strife, conflict without following the steps.



 But sometimes love covers a multitude of sin because it may be better for that person that we swallow hard and love long.



 To me, one of the most classic examples of this was early in my ministry where I was at a general assembly where still a lot of the founders of this denomination were living. One of them was old Palmer Robertson who wrote classic books of theology that almost every pastor studies. The other was Jack, now I've lost his name, Williamson. Jack Williamson who has argued before the Supreme Court of the United States and his attorney for the defense of the church.



 And these two men who were co-founders of this denomination were at odds on a particular issue. And I remember a young man standing up and saying, "I'm just really struggling.



 I look up to you men. I treasure what you have done, and you have spoken with such anger and odds with each other." Without him even saying it, I watched the two men get up from their seats, walk to the front of the platform, across to the front, and embrace one another. I don't even remember the issue.



 What I remember is what unity shows for the church of Christ.



 When God's people can love past their differences and when the differences are dividing them, find a biblical way to reconcile.



 Christ is honored.



 The church advances, and eternity is made plain to people who need to know what it means to be made right with God by someone who forgives even the undeserving.



 Father, would you work your word into our hearts that we who need to know you and show you would be challenged by your word, corrected by it?



 And perhaps even after this message, be thinking of those that we need to forgive or confront



 for their sake as well as ours and the testimony of the church.



 Help us, we pray, to be the people not divided just by our own personal ways of doing things, but united by the gospel and the instruction of our Lord.



 Your word tells us that even the angels sit back in amazement, that God can unite people of such great differences in the church of Jesus Christ. May not just the angels, but our own community, be amazed and convinced of the gospel by the way we deal with each other, even when we're at odds.



 Grant us your spirit to help, we pray, in Jesus' name. Amen.